THE
DEMO:
I wrote "18" on June 7th 2022 — the day before my 18th birthday.
When I woke up on the day before my 18th birthday, the first thought that came to my mind was that today was a day I should make a song.
So, I picked up my guitar and put the capo on a random fret, and started playing some chords until an idea (ANY idea) came to mind. I came up with a few, some had potential and some were questionable (they're usually the same thing). I recorded vocals and guitar for some of the ideas I came up with and ended up with a very simple version of verse+chorus, and a Weird Outro, before I left the house with some simple recording gear.
TIRED VOICE MEMO EXCERPT:
The friend I was supposed to meet cancelled, but I was already on my way so decided to go to the café regardless.
I sat at the cafe for 2.5 hours, listening to that same 40 seconds, trying to make it something. Writing down lyrical ideas, not finding many. Using the guitar and some improvisational humming I had already recorded, I tried to piece together something like a song instrumentally, that I could record vocals over later (the café's not ideal for that). Since I was stuck without my guitar, I added more piano. (Limitations helps you do what you wouldn't do usually)
Sitting at a café for an hour or two that afternoon - working on the demo + writing verse 2
Video from recording the demo.
Afterwards I went to a youth club in my area, and found a somewhat quiet room. I set up my mini DIY recording-gear set and started recording the second verse lyrics I had thought out at the café. Then i recorded some hums and harmonic notes anywhere I wanted to put them, doing light mixing in between.
At this point I had Verse -> Chorus -> Verse 2 -> Chorus 2 -> Weird Outro, and I knew I wanted something more after the 2nd chorus. Originally I planned to write more lyrics as a second part of the chorus, but my lyrical mind was only looping through the lyrics I had already used. When I improvised the part I ended up doing virtually the same lyrics, but at a higher note, and some slight changes too. It was different, but I kind of liked it. I showed it to a friend at the youth club, and she was reassuring that this was NOT BAD. Phew. I exported the file I ended up using at 18:47pm.
As soon as I got home I started working on the video. I set up my reflector in my dresser and my camera on my tripod, and lip-synced to the song a couple of times. And then I did the same an hour later, and then again an hour after that, because I had an idea that the sky could grow darker throughout the video (like approaching midnight). But I only liked the lighting in the last ones I filmed, so I went with that throughout. I looked through old folders to see if I could find any videos that sparked any value for me, and started putting everything together in Final Cut Pro X. Syncing sound and video, reviewing what looked good & what didn't, trying to place my childhood videos at fitting places. When I decided to be done for the day, I still missed some overlay footage and text on screen. But i would have time for that tomorrow morning.
Editing the video.
The result is not perfect. It is not meant to be. And although there are things that I want to + feel like I should change, I am grateful for art's ability to appear. Maybe this is not the song it could have been, but it is a song that didn't exist until I let it. And had I not decided to make it that day, I never would've made any song like it I think. That would be sad.
Maybe if I hadn't gone to the café in spite of my friend cancelling? Maybe if I hadn't recently learned a new chord for fun? Maybe if my anxiety had actually convinced me that everything I do is bad that day? Maybe then this thing that exists now, wouldn't have existed ever.
I think that makes me appreciate it all so much more.
not released for now,
but the finished version will be on my upcoming EP ;)
SONG CREDITS
WRITTEN BY: CAMILLA ROWE
PRODUCED BY: CAMILLA ROWE
